4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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