Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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