my vag is so smooth its legendary
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
