there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
