she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
