I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize