i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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