Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
