i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
