Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
