I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
