So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
