I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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