i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
