Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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