i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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