dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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