This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
There's even glitter on my cock...
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