sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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