So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Your topless pictures make me question reality
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
