he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
