these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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