It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
