Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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