I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
