I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
