She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I need to align my fucking chakras
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
