so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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