i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
