I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Randomize
