So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
