its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
