His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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