i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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