forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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