I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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