I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Randomize
