you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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