I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
