I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
be right there i have to get my cape
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
