If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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