You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
