D3 body, D1 cock
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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