Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
