dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
