im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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