Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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