We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Small penises have feelings too.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
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