What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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