i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
