Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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