I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
