it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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