the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize