I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
