maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
