i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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