i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
