Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
