If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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