end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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