You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
