Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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