'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Say something about gay babies.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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