Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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