i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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