Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
