you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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