i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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