When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
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