I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
