whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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